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• Airport security screening is so cockeyed that those selected for "random" secondary searches will never fit the description of likely bombers or hijackers.
• At your computer, when you look for help in the "Frequently Asked Questions" sections of websites, no question you ask will ever be there.
• No matter how many times he fails to curb suicide bombers, Yassir Arafat will always be given one more "last chance."
Peter Hannaford's column appears every Monday.
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