The siege finally ended. For days brutal forces taunted,
belittled, and brutalized their target. They questioned his
leadership and legitimacy, denigrated his achievements, disbelieved
his denials, and charged him with bigotry, hysteria, and callous
irresponsibility. The only question was where to exile him, and how
long before he cries uncle. Well, he didn’t cry Prescott, but Colin
was adjudged close enough. So Colin’s on his way to bring peace to
the Middle East. The world is whole again. As for exile, when it
comes, it will be at an undisclosed location. Of Al Gore’s
choosing. That’s how brutal forces operate. And with shock troops
like our media mites, there’s no question of stopping them.
Conventional weapons certainly won’t. The Pentagon’s search for
nuclear solutions will have to continue.
The Vatican could be targeted. According to Enemy Central agent
Jack Hughes, its recent criticism of Israeli policies came from
“the same crowd who told the Pope there weren’t perverts in the
priesthood.”
And forget about using the FBI. Thanks to special agent Robert
Hanssen, director of the bureau’s Spy for Russia program, we now
know his duties included keeping tabs on sainted figures such as
Hillary Clinton. Even David Brock never sank that low. But you’ve
gotta love her code name: Babushka.
In a domestic tragedy of unseen proportions, a man who calls
himself Bryant Gumball (ed: ck spelling) is withdrawing from
morning television after 17 years of military occupation. As the
most admired figure in the news business since Walter Cronkite and
Howard Beale, Gumball will be missed. It’s believed he’ll now be
free to act on a lifelong dream to found a charm school.
Morning television is suffering on many fronts. Reid Collins
informs us that “NBC performed the final act of indignity to the
English language this morning, with a headline declaring that the
‘Queen Mother would LAY in state for two days.’” NBC will argue
that Collins, as a former correspondent on rival networks, should
have recused himself from the story. To which we’ll counter that it
serves NBC right for all the years it’s insisted on comparing the
Queen Mother (or her daughter) to a hen. Besides, once it decided
to defend the Clinton regime to the death it expunged “lie” from
its lexicon.
If misery loves miserable company, NBC, let us introduce you to
A.P. According to an anonymous tip, the Associated Press last
Saturday reported that “the Queen Mother’s death adds personal
tragedy to a succession of domestic traumas suffered by the royal
family in recent years …” Our tipster asks: “Since when does the
death — in her sleep and apparently without pain — of a
101-year-old woman count as a ‘tragedy’?” Some will charge our
informant, unfairly, of lacking compassion.
Otherwise, the argument will be, he/she/they would have joined
the hippie activists who’ve been burning incense and crashing at
Yassir Arafat’s pad. They come from all over, even Ireland and the
Israel Empire. One thing is certain. If Morocco doesn’t work out as
a new home for Arafat, he can always try coming to San Francisco,
if he can be sure not to wear a kaffiyeh in his hair.
By the way, isn’t it curious that no one has heard anything
about Mrs. Arafat — i.e., Suha Arafat, Hillary Clinton’s former
debate club partner — in the longest time? Has she left her man,
much like Mrs. Marion Barry recently has done? Or has she gone to
work for someone like Gary Condit?
Normally, Enemy Central is virulently pro-immigration. But even
we open-borders freaks know when to draw the line. No, the worry
isn’t that Mrs. A is interning on Capitol Hill. This concerns
someone else entirely, a Washington resident of so many years
standing that he knew Dean Acheson and Elihu Root in prep school.
But isn’t it high time this dean of permanent ambassadors to
Washington lose his American citizenship and green card and scurry
back to his oil ranch on the outskirts of Mecca? Prince Bandar has
outstayed his welcome. This Saudi equivalent of Mr. Smith who came
to Washington and never left has gone too far this time, suggesting
that suicide bombers in the U.S. will enjoy the same sort of
diplomatic immunity he has these last 97 years. There’s a flight
school near Riyadh that’s advertising for new students. This EOW
certificate from Enemy Central should make enrollment a
cakewalk.
