NAMING BILL’S NEW FRIEND
Editor’s Note: On Monday the Prowler, after
an
item on Buddy and his successor, asked: “But what will the new
Clinton dog be named? Send your recommendations to: Bill’s New
Friend c/o Reader Mail (click below). All entries final. Please
don’t stigmatize the animal by naming him after David Brock.” The
following were judged Top of the Show:
How about Chelsea, Oops, he already has a dog by that name! How
about Hillary — what you say, he has a dog by that name too! Darn
all the good names are taken! Oh well he could name it Dick (after
Morris of course! Get your mind out of the gutter!).
— Ron Olliff
Loganville, GA
Rich, of course. Then the command can be given to the pup, “Mark,
Rich.” Doggedly yours,
— Mike Nolan
Pardon.
— Ronnie Moore
Hillary.
— Jim Stevenson
Dead Dog Walking.
— unsigned
Since “Priapus” doesn’t quite roll easily off the tongue, how about
just “Randy”?
— Jim Tyson
Fairfax, VA
At first, I thought of Hillary. But then I remembered he already
had a Hillary. Then I thought about Monica, but he would never name
a dog that; besides what if it were a male? I needed a unisex,
simple name. I settled for Stain and, in my minds eye, imagined him
calling the dog.
—Tim Hart
May I suggest the name “Prop” for the latest unfortunate animal to
be taken into the “home” of our EX-president? For surely he will be
a mere prop for staged photo-ops at the Clinton “country home” in
rural Westchester County. In my opinion, it is extremely unwise to
permit someone who leads such a peripatetic existence to adopt yet
another pet. I do hope there are kind people at the “country home”
who will give the dog the love, care and attention he deserves.
— Judith Baker
Arlington, VA
Bill’s new friend should be named “Felonious.”
— unsigned
Poor Boy.
— Ardys Parrish
May as well call him Doomed.
— unsigned
Two things to remember about Labs:
1. They are brain-dead, lovingly loyal to their owners.
2. They create LARGE piles of “puppy poop” where ever they go.
Hmmmmm…. how about Carville?
— George Nelson
nelsong@cableone.net
The name Webb is a natural — he’ll already be experienced at
“rolling over” for his owners.
— T.C. Drabik
Just call him…Lonesome.
— Roger T
Atlanta, GA
Name it Broaddrick.
— John Lauer
Monique.
Thanks for the chance.
— Ed Wolfe
Old Yeller.
— Andrew J. Macfadyen, M.D.
San Antonio, TX
DNA (“Dee,” for short, if the dog’s a female).
— unsigned
Clinton’s dog can only be named “Spunk”
— James H. Gilliam
Too obvious — RoadKill III
— Jan Kamholtz
I nominate “Photo Op IV”
Photo Op I = Chelsea
Photo Op II = Socks
Photo Op III = Buddy
… Hope this brightens your day. I also feel so very sorry for
the poor dog who will be totally ignored except for, you guessed
it, photo ops.
— Tom Badham
Bessemer, AL
Poor thing should be named Photo Op #2. He shouldn’t have a pet.
Animals have rights, too.
— Donald Kaiser
I think the dirtbag should name his new friend “Mulligan.” The last
one got hit out of bounds.
— Robert Keeler
Buddy — that way it will be easier for Clinton’s lackeys to deny
the first one died.
— Mike Albrecht
Cincinnati, OH
THE MEANING OF IS, IS
Re: Peter Hannaford’s No Prollem:
How about my favorite, the big “is, is,” and now morphing into “was
was”? As in: “The problem is, is that the blah blah …” “So I told
him that the issue then was, was that …” Sean Hannity, and other
public figures, say this all the time; even Rush, and Richard Bey;
not to mention every broadcaster on news programs. If you guys can
do something to impact (WHOOPS! Sorry!!) this misuse of language,
I’d be eternally grateful.
— Helen Westover
DARN RIGHT
Re: Reader Mail’s letter from Gene
Smith:
“Damn skippy”? Is that a New Hampshirism? I about fell off my
chair!
— Kevin M. McGehee
Coweta County, Georgia
Gene Smith replies: No, I’m afraid it’s not a
true New Hampshirism. I think I picked it up from one of my adult
kids. Don’t know where they picked it up from. Sorry I can’t
provide a better etiology of the expression.
RED SOX KILLER
Re: Jerry Carter’s The
Nickname Hall of Fame:
How could you overlook the immortal Walter “No Neck” Williams?
— Bill Kelly
WRETCHED OF THE EARTH
Re: John Corry’s The
Clinton Faithful:
Two most telling moments in Newsweek apologia: When asked if he
regretted Rich pardon, Clinton replied in the affirmative but only
because it was politically foolish. Nothing about the fact he
circumvented our judicial system or helped a man who made millions
off illegal arms trading. No, he was sorry for a political mistake
that hurt Bill Clinton. Second, his intoning about having been
subject to “prosecutorial abuse” (a term thrown to him by the
softball reporter). You just want to wretch.
— Robert C. Yeager
ALL CLEAR
Re: Wlady Pleszczynski’s Reaching
Out to Arafat:
Glad you cleared up something. Wife and I had been wondering if
Andrea Koppel wasn’t Ted’s daughter. I was convinced almost to the
nth degree when I observed the palpable deference afforded the
novice Ms. Koppel by the moderator and other panelists on the
session of “Capital Gang” which you mentioned. Of course she, like
all sons and daughters of the famous, made it entirely on her
own.
What is your take on the virulent anti-Bush, anti-administration
propaganda floated by the media in recent days? My guess is that
the liberal media sense an opening in the Israeli-Palestinian
conflict to inflict serious damage on the administration. Charlie
Rose went so far tonight (Monday) as to suggest that George Bush
appoint Bill Clinton as a special representative to solve the
crisis. The depth of admiration of the sleazy reprobate on the part
of the Clinton lovers never ceases to amaze.
Another observation: Have you noted how CNN is loading its guest
lists with left-over has-beens from the Clinton administration? Not
to mention the new format for “Crossfire” which stars the two
idiot-savant Clintonites, Begala and Carville. Having seen the
maiden voyage of this shouting match of a program tonight, I
predict viewership will fall like a lead balloon. All of which is
CNN’s contribution to the aforementioned campaign of discrediting
the current administration, in my view.
I recall how the same unrest was being engendered during the
build-up to the Afghanistan campaign. Fortunately the dazzling
victories in the field of conflict over there quickly squashed the
nay-sayers who wound up looking like idiots. However, our memories
are barely longer than our attention span and all that success in
Afghanistan is quickly forgotten - or at least conveniently ignored
in the quest for a way to bring down Bush’s high approval
numbers.
— Boyd Dodson
Dyer, Arkansas
Had justice prevailed, Arafat (who incidentally is not an elected
leader — his term ended in 1999 and he “grudgingly” agreed to stay
on as Chairman by eliminating any major opposition through
assassination and intimidation — sounds like Robert Mugabe?) would
now be in The Hague awaiting trial for crimes to humanity. Arafat
stands accused of crimes against Jews (not just Israelis)
stretching back 37 years, and crimes against fellow Arabs and
so-called “Palestinians.”
Unfortunately, the U.N. — a democracy of dictatorships and
repressive governments — protects its own. Mr. Sharon is guilty of
taking too little action. Arafat’s elimination would cause most
consternation among the media and EU. The Arab fiefdoms would
hardly shed a tear. Neither would the Palestinians. Yes, we should
reach out to Mr. Arafat, and deposit him in the cage he
deserves.
— Jacob Wajsbort
Melbourne, Australia
NOW AND THEN
A bit of alternate history, with apologies to Harry Turtledove:
April 1, 1942, Headlines in New York Times:
FDR asks Hitler to Denounce German Invasions.
Sec’y of State Tells Britain to Stop Shooting Down German
Planes:
“Must break cycle of violence.”
April 5, 1942, Headline in Neues York Times-Zeitung:
Heil Hitler! Herzlich Willkommen Wir Unsern Neuen Fuehrer!
Of course, it didn’t really happen that way. So why is it
happening that way now?
— unsigned
BY ANY OTHER NAME
Is he or isn’t he? President Bush says that Yasser ain’t a
terrorist. If that’s so, Yasser sure is trying like h… to be
one.
— Ken Wyman
Huntsville, AL
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Cardinal Media, Inc.
Poulsbo, WA
