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Hanging Juries

Jimmy Carter never had a chance. Introducing Henry Volvo and other Saab stories. Ben Stein on the bubble. Plus more.
p> JIMINY CARTER br> EX-cellent choice of the very EX-President Carter . All week I was suffering from EOW agent block, couldn’t come up with anything even though I had seen it and read it. I am all too willing to simply dismiss the man without giving him the consideration he is surely due. Great job, So-o glad to have EOW and everything else back. br> — Roger Ross br> Tomahawk, WI /p>

I read this week’s Enemy Central column hoping and praying that you would pick former President and Dolt-in-Chief Jimmy Carter as Enemy of the Week for his idiotic comments regarding the “axis of evil.” Thank you so much for answering that hope and prayer! I just wish space had permitted you to quote more extensively from the AP dispatch, on which you apparently based your fine selection.

This jackanapes called the turn of phrase not only “overly simplistic” but also “counterproductive.” I actually believe that Mr. Bush (who graces his high office nearly as much as Mr. Carter disgraced his) intentionally employed his words to great effect. At a stroke, he cleverly pushed these pariah regimes onto the defensive; they’re scared and they’ve not stopped squawking since the State of the Union.

At the same moment, he exposed the domestic and foreign critics of his war against the terrorists and the states which harbor and succor them. Left-liberals dare not declare their true opposition to the war, indeed they publicly exclaim their full and faithful support for the President’s efforts. But they search ceaselessly for any opportunity to quibble, carp and cavil. And now one after another has stumbled into Mr. Bush’s well-laid rhetorical trap: Foreign Minister Vedrine, Foreign Secretary Straw, former Secretary of State Albright, Majority Leader Daschle, all manner of clucking commentators, now Mr. Carter.

According to the AP dispatch, Mr. Carter also blubbered that Mr. Bush’s three words had seriously jeopardized progress made with North Korea, Iran and Iraq in recent years, that it would take years to undo the damage. In his speech at Emory, did he describe the progress or damage, or did he just consider his conclusions self-evident? The AP unfortunately does not say.

Then Mr. Carter drops a non-sequitur: the growing gap between the rich and poor continues as the world’s greatest challenge (there he gives us the peek behind the curtain: fighting terrorism isn’t important and urgent, fighting world poverty is!). Yet those dastardly terrorists falsely claim membership among the destitute. “We are very concerned now about terrorism. Osama bin Laden is not poor, he’s very rich — and the people who committed those horrible acts on Sept. 11 were not poor.” I gather terrorists are evil not because they murder thousands of innocent Americans but lie about their income and assets. Wait, maybe terrorists kill because they are rich. Who knows?

p>For all this unforgivable nonsense, Mr. Carter more than earned his
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